First Draft Feedback

 First Draft

Targets 

The overall response we received on the first draft of the sweet truth is negative; however we will use this as constructive criticisms and set ourselves targets moving forward with editing and additional filming if necessary.

The feedback on this question was that it is doesn’t come off serious and it was seen as comedy rather than an informative short film, The editing techniques we used in this first draft were not suitable for this genre of short films. We will remove the effects used. One other thing mentioned is that the flow of the documentary doesn’t feel natural, we will overcome this by using a softer transition from one scene to the next.

The response on this is similar to the first question, the issue being the jump cuts and music being inconsistent.  We will find a better flowing track to replace the music we currently have. This means we must find something ranging from low and slow paced to high tempo and louder towards the end. As for the jump cuts between narrations, we will work on making the continuity of the short film more realistic as it is supposed to be done in a continuity editing manner to stay true to the genre.

The attitude of the audience on in terms of this question based on the film was negative however they mentioned that there was not much difference between the two characters  therefore they  could immediately tell  how each person treats their diabetes. This means we need to emphasis Jeppe’s positive behavior towards his health and Abdul's lack of effort towards trying to be healthy. As well as give more information about Abdul's routine as we did Jeppe.

The feedback on this question was there was not a lot of information gained, as the short film felt more like a comedy. The audience felt it starts nicely with an introduction of Jeppe and how his life was affected by diabetes however through the editing and later scenes it did not contain any important information on diabetes. This creates a task list for us as we will film more scenes of Abdul explain how he got his diabetes as well as what happens next. We will also try to give the equal amount of scene time between the two characters and this should present the story more clearly.

Collaboration 

Questions- Maya and Jeppe

Filming and Editing- Abdul
Targets- Maya